What labels do you wear? Mom, Dad? Aunt? Grandmother, Granddad? Retiree? Boomer? Empty nester? Widow? Widower? Senior Citizen? Elder? Once we hit a certain age or stage in life, our ageist culture is quick to define us. It’s important that we are aware of any labels that limit us. It’s our own opinion that counts, and decisions that we make define who we are as we age.
Sometimes it’s we who put the limits on ourselves. For decades there has been a near frantic search for a new word to describe aging - something that makes us feel better about growing older. Terms like wisdom workers, grand elders, older adults, super agers, perennials, golden agers, modern elders and countless others. It's as if we believe that when we stumble upon the right descriptive word, we'll immediately feel better about ourselves, the workplace will still respect us and society will appreciate our value.
Did you know that 65 was established as the retirement age by the Social Security Act in 1935, when the average life expectancy at that time was only 62? In other words, the average American died three years before becoming eligible for any benefits. Retirement quickly became associated with a short transition from relaxing to withdrawing to declining, a chance to make yourself comfortable at home while getting your affairs in order.
Sixty-five is not the time to retire from life. It's not the beginning of the end. It's the beginning of what's next, and we get to decide what that is. We get to choose how we spend that time and where we want to live. We get to decide what growing older looks like.
Are you happy where you are? Is your home the right size for you now? Or is it time to start thinking about downsizing? It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all of the options. What about a 55+ senior community? Have you been to one or have you labeled it ‘not right for me’ without taking a visit? The same goes for assisted living. There are vibrant communities filled with people of all different interests and physical capabilities. It can’t hurt to take the first step and investigate for yourself.
Whatever you decide is right for you, whether it’s time to move or just to declutter, your local Caring Transitions team within Costa mesa, Fountain Valley, Huntington Beach is ready to assist you. From helping you decide what to keep, donate or sell, to packing up your current home and moving you into your new home, and either donating your items or selling them in an estate sale or an online auction through our CTBids site, Caring Transitions of Costa Mesa provides you with customized support throughout the process to make it as easy as possible.
Changing the culture of aging in an extremely ageist society is a monumental challenge. Our friends at Growing Bolder believe that we have to work toward the goal of cultural transformation one life at a time. As they’ve interviewed ordinary people creating extraordinary lives as they age, they’ve discovered there's no one right way to do it…aging’s not a one-size-fits-all outfit. It's about continuing to grow, to evolve, and to reinvent ourselves as we age. We can't change societal belief systems until we change our own. If enough of us can make that change, large-scale cultural change will follow.
We do that by changing the way we live, and we change the way we live by changing our belief system about what's possible. Yes, words do matter, but we can't allow ourselves to be bullied by them. We can't let someone labeling us as “old” or a “senior” to cause us to embrace the negative traits that are wrongly associated with those words, and we shouldn't be fooled into thinking that a new word will magically transform our later decades.
If we listen to our ageist culture and most media, we'll be exposed to what others have decided life looks like in our 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond. And what you'll hear may not be the labels you want to wear. It'll likely be about age-appropriate behavior, societal norms and unwritten rules about how we're supposed to act.
Welcome to the Age of Liberation.